Hi Def Herm

Hello Lovely,
Been a while since I have posted an entry and with great reasoning. First off, Happy New Decade, and I hope the beginning phases of this new decade catapult you to the greatness for whatever the next phase your life is heading. With that said, I am at a crossroads in my life, I’M STUCK! My life has been in a constant downswing as of the last 18 Months of my life. I have been fired from a company that I would’ve easily been the elite of due to racial profiling, been “black balled” by that same company for using them as experience on my resume’ so I cant go further in my career, accepted in to college to finish my final 18 months of class to get my Associates degree to propel me into the field of what I have been working so hard to achieve to only find out I can’t receive and loans, grants, and limited scholarship money due to a balance at my previous institution, of learning….to cut this short, the “ball keeps rolling down hill” and I’M DRAINED! I have checked out of life as a whole and have been much of a “zombie”, wandering aimlessly to acquire inspiration to want to do something, as well as, have the need to be needed. My weight has fluctuated at alarming rates and it is draining me more. Being that I work in the field of Health and Fitness, “presentation is everything”. With me being stressed, “sick” physically, spiritually, and emotionally it kills the likelihood of keep and gaining success. So I’m just using “my world” to vent if you will, bare with me. Usually, I am always the one that is here to drop those positive gems to propel YOU to greatness, but this time I might be the one that needs that “push”. The crossroad that I am at has me staring into a beautiful horizon, on the edge of a mountain top. Yet, I am afraid of heights, and I am on the most narrow path of footing with a proverbial “wall” behind me. With the decisions only being to “man up” and deal with the anxiety of KNOWING I am far beyond level ground and footing. Or jumping off the cliff and feeling the rush of the exhilaration of the fall and conquering the fear or dying in the midst of air from fear of the actually of the fall. At 24 years of age, am I going through my “mid-life crisis” to propel me into actually LIVING life or is the existence I am doomed for?…I’M STUCK….

-Joseph