Money.Sports.Personal Training.Politics.Shoes. & Tattoos.
Former DE for Texas College
Working as a Strength And Conditioning Coach/ Personal Trainer
A young man...with an old soul.
Devout Music Head
Anything (Chicago Bears, Chicago Bulls, Ndamukong Suh, LeBron James, Andre Corley, Cartavious Kincade, Karique Stephen, NY Yankees, and LA Dodgers...I'm ON IT)
Ask and you shall know.
Alright, I received a quite compelling e-mail from my mother that has kind of awoken my spirit as far as the frame of mind of the black woman in today’s society. Now, me being an African-American male that has dated primarily African-American women ONLY for most of my life and a Latino at times have a different approach to the “argument” in hand. Don’t get me wrong there are some beautiful Caucasian women on the planet just none that I have personally ran into in my life time that either of us would consider dating one another. At my high school, we didn’t necessarily have the pick of the liter as far as black women go, yet, I still stayed true to my kind. In hindsight, I think a lot that had to do with the fact that my Mother pretty much forbade any of us to date outside our race, and we all pretty much have strived to keep her happy. :) I Love My Mother. But at the same time with raising us in Baytown, and not in Illinois, her and our native stomping ground we didn’t have the same “black” community to go relate to. Had I done things different I KNOW I would’ve dated a lady outside my race and possibly would have had a wider range of understanding with women as a whole but chose to focus primarily on athletics and education. But with the “pickings” we had at our High School you would have been dumb founded to not have done so yourself. Especially, with the alarming rate of pregnancy and “experimentation” with girl on girl action by 85% of our class and the class before us. But, that is for another, posting….RATHER, I was considered to be “snobby” or “overconfident” by the majority of the women in my class, yet, the one’s that REALLY got to know me did and have always seen the flip-side to this argument. A wide range of my being “misunderstood” is because I am light skinned with a “French-esq” look. And not many in my class were of my complexion or stand off-ish as much as my brother-ens. Now, I’m not saying my looks alone made a difference in the being accepted to be “approachable” to the forum of black women in my high school, but, it seemed more white, and latino women would be “bold” enough to get to know me or give me a chance. This is all on a smaller scale though. To bring things to likes of Serena Williams calibur, alot of people would see that there would be a problem with Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson saying the same thing (primarily) about black women. Now, who is the blame for this? I’ll let you be the judge…
Serena Williams Interview
Ms. Williams we are all interested in your new boyfriend.
There is no new boyfriend . I stopped playing with boys when I stopped dating black guys. I have a new man in my life and yes, he’s white.
So you prefer to date white men instead of black guys?
Let’s be real. If you are a successful black female you only have two choices….date outside of your race or date other successful black females.
Are you saying there are no successful black men to date?
Of course not but lets face it, if Oprah would date outside of her race she would be married with children now. The state of most black men is so low the only thing you can do is love them. Like a poor homeless dog. You can’t expect it to protect you. You can only offer shelter and love and watch as our neighbor’s pitbull protects his home and family. I, unlike Oprah, am not forced to stay within those boundaries. I was born into a new generation of black women.
So Oprah is being forced to date Stedman?
All I can say is when you find a successful black women who is not married and does not have children it is because they refuse to accept the two choices. Some may go as far as marriage to a black guy but they realize divorce is inevitable so they do not have children. Or they have children with one and don’t marry in order to preserve their wealth and good credit. Oprah is one of many who silently protests being stuck with such poor choices by refusing to marry and reproduce but you can see how much it hurts her. She’s always giving away money to children’s charities. I hope she makes the choice to marry a non-black soon so she can have a child of her own.
But you have decided to accept the two choices?
Yes. I grew up in California around the two extremes of wealth. If I could only get myself t o try the bisexual thing I would have been much happier in my relationships. Instead I dated black men. I loved many of them but they were just not suitable for marriage. Many of them were raised by women and had warped mentalities. So I finally had to date outside my race. When I moved to Miami, I accepted my status and dated men on my level.
What do you mean by warped mentalities?
Well, where do I begin? Many of them were raised predominantly by women and had this feminine/bisexual complex. Where they wanted to be treated like a female sometimes. For example, I would have the money & they would have the sex. I would teach them things. You know, all the things a woman likes a man to do, I would end up doing for them. Then if we would get into an argument, there would be a role reversal. All of a sudden, they would be the man wanting the respect of a king in his castle. Black men over the years have become less and less of value to black women both rich and poor. I predict in 10 years they will be obsolete. Now they serve little to no function and what little they can do, they don’t want to do.
Why 10 years?
That’s when going to a fertility clinic to get impregnated by a sperm donor will become as common and accessible as the flu shot. Women who want sex will do it with whoever they want (girl, guy, rich, poor, white ,black) and go to the bank (the sperm bank) when they are ready to have children. Even those who waited (like Oprah) will have fertilized eggs placed inVitro. That’s the day the secret organization of women is waiting for. The day when men are 100% dis-empowered.
Are you apart of that organization?
No. They’re a mostly white group. Plus that day for black men is practically here already. Black women are already raising 75% of the black population without a man. When fertility clinics becom! e more affordable Black women will be standing in line. It will be just like plastic surgery. Everyone laughed at Michael Jackson but its becoming so popular now,that even poor blacks are getting work done…mostly breast reductions and liposuction.
So do you want men to be dis-empowered?
Heck, no! That’s why I am with a white man now. I want a man to be a man and I am not going to settle for less just to stay within racial boundaries. A Black man in my position wouldn’t do it so why should I. Don’t get me wrong, I love black men. My father is black, I have dated black men all my life, and if I have a male child he will be part black. But my husband and I will raise him together so hopefully he will be a worthy choice for a worthy black female. Not the only choice, or “there’s nothing better out there so I’ll settle for this” choice. Wh en you are successful you want the best. The best food, clothes, places to live etc. I want the best man also.
And you think the best man is a non-black man?
I think if ther e’s a better choice for me, God would have shown me. I am in the public so I get to meet lots of people from all over the world athletes, celebs etc. I am wealthy so I am invited and have traveled to the most prestigious events all over the world. Out of all those people, places and events….I had to choose the right man for me. Like it or not (with very few exceptions) a white man is the only real choice for a successful black female.
Chad Ochocinco Write Up
ESSENCE.com: Your show “Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch” premiered on Sunday and you’ve caught a lot of flack because you only chose two Black women. How do you feel about that?
OCHOCINCO: I don’t understand why. Those who know me didn’t think twice about it because they already know how I am. I deal with all types of women. My mind set is that I think outside the box. I’m all over the place and I want to experience everything. There’s nothing wrong with [Black women] at all. If I did it the way they wanted though, there still would have been something to fuss about. It’s a lose-lose for me because no matter how I do it, there’s going to be an argument. I did Wendy Williams yesterday and I said for those who are offended about it, I apologize. But if you ever run into me, you’d date me.
ESSENCE.com: Are you surprised that Black women feel the way they do about your show?
OCHOCINCO: I can’t do anything about that. I’ve never heard other races complaining about their men dating outside of their race besides Black people. I hate that we continue to pull that race card. Experience life in general. It’s not that there’s not enough of us because I’m going to deal with y’all anyway, I always have. [People] make it an issue because it’s now on camera.
ESSENCE.com: Can you understand where some Black women are coming from?
OCHOCINCO: Yeah, but I still can’t appease you. I have a preference. I’m not trying to appease you on my show. I’m trying to find happiness for me and it doesn’t come from just dealing with one type of woman.
ESSENCE.com: What is your “preference”?
OCHOCINCO: Black, White, Chinese, I don’t care what you are. If you put a smile on my face, I don’t want much. I want somebody who is fun, has a personality and can cook and take me to McDonald’s. Keep your nails and your feet done, and we’re good to go. You have to have a personality like me. Someone fun and outgoing, passionate about life in general, a go-getter with a sense of humor. Beautiful is okay, but I’ve dealt with beautiful women so many times before and they had nothing else to offer. I need more than that.
ESSENCE.com: Why did you choose to do “The Ultimate Catch” and what are you getting out of it?
OCHOCINCO: I’m single for one, and I don’t have anyone. The opportunity came about to do it. and I was like ‘why not?’ I haven’t been successful at dating so I thought why not try something different. I might find someone, I might not. ESSENCE.com: You’re Ochocinco, why is it hard for you to find a good date?
OCHOCINCO: There’s a saying: “Just because you have money doesn’t mean you’re happy.” Just because I’m Ocho doesn’t mean I’m supposed to have a woman either.
ESSENCE.com: Have you ever thought about changing the kind of women that are around you?
OCHOCINCO: I’ve dealt with all types. I’ve dealt with normal women who aren’t in the spotlight, I’ve dealt with celebrities, supermodels, regulars, video girls. I’ve been there.
ESSENCE.com: Is your lifestyle ready for a relationship though?
OCHOCINCO: Yes because my lifestyle needs somebody to complete everything I have going on. As much as I have going on, I have nobody to share it with.